At some point I will share my story here. But first I wanted to introduce Luna. Luna came into my life the day I found out about my husbands porn addiction.
I was married 2 weeks and found my husbands rags. ugh. I got on the computer and confirmed my suspicion. He admitted it and said he wouldn't do it again.
H LIED. One week later it happened again.
That's when I met Luna
I was yelling and crying and screaming. I could hear myself but inside my head I was swimming around looking blankly at the scenery around me. And there she was.
Lunatic. Luna the Lunatic.
lu·na·tic
[loo-nuh-tik]
noun
I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize myself. There she was. Luna the lunatic. I didn't know then, but she would be my companion for the next 13 years.
This is the thing about Luna. She comes out when I'm in fear or desperations. Sometimes sadness will overtake my whole body and she'll swoop in to save me. It's taken me 3 years of therapy to finally acknowledge her and let her go.
So this is my story. How I let go of Luna. And how she still comes to visit, and every day I have to make a choice to thank her and send her on a way. Some days are impossible. Sometimes she'll sneak in through the window, and other times I don't see her for months.
I am learning and growing. I'm not perfect and neither is my recovering husband. But we are in love, we are doing our best, and giving the rest to the Lord.
I hope you will find something of use here. Please feel free to leave a comment. I love the connection with other wives of sex addicts. It's an instant connection and sisterhood we have. And for those of you who are new to this, sit down, get on some slippers and grab some hot chocolate. Open yourself enough to reach out and find some safety here. You are not alone, and there is a lot of support for you.
1. an insane person.
I slammed the door and sat on the toilet.
I picked a tick off of me.
How long had that been there?
I threw it in the trash.
The trash with those stupid disgusting rags were in. I was a newlywed. I was only married two weeks. Is this supposed to happen?
I picked a tick off of me.
How long had that been there?
I threw it in the trash.
The trash with those stupid disgusting rags were in. I was a newlywed. I was only married two weeks. Is this supposed to happen?
I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize myself. There she was. Luna the lunatic. I didn't know then, but she would be my companion for the next 13 years.
This is the thing about Luna. She comes out when I'm in fear or desperations. Sometimes sadness will overtake my whole body and she'll swoop in to save me. It's taken me 3 years of therapy to finally acknowledge her and let her go.
So this is my story. How I let go of Luna. And how she still comes to visit, and every day I have to make a choice to thank her and send her on a way. Some days are impossible. Sometimes she'll sneak in through the window, and other times I don't see her for months.
I am learning and growing. I'm not perfect and neither is my recovering husband. But we are in love, we are doing our best, and giving the rest to the Lord.
I hope you will find something of use here. Please feel free to leave a comment. I love the connection with other wives of sex addicts. It's an instant connection and sisterhood we have. And for those of you who are new to this, sit down, get on some slippers and grab some hot chocolate. Open yourself enough to reach out and find some safety here. You are not alone, and there is a lot of support for you.
So here we go. Welcome to my story. My journey of letting go of Luna.
Georgie
Hi Georgie! Welcome. Looking fwd to your story.
ReplyDeleteI'm also a WOPA and my hubby's currently under the GreatnessAhead therapy program and like you I've also found out about my hubby's addiction through his laptop history. I wished for the world to stop right there and then. It was the most devastating moment of my life, yet I'm willing to fight for my husband and we're willing to fight his addiction, albeit his slips. I know we would get through this. Love conquers all.
ReplyDelete